Trance

The kid who lives on the floor above has come to meet us along with his mom... He has a habit of finding/touching/pushing things which arouse his curiosity. After running his eyes thru every corner of the room, he settles his eyes on Scrabble, a game which was gifted by a friend but never played by me and Amrita.


I help him open the game while his mom is busy talking to my mom and Amrita.... I see an expression on mom and Amrita's face.... which is difficult to describe, but,  can always be seen on the faces that have passed thru a recent trauma... 
This expression is of relaxation - when after a long fight one has pulled out a victory
It's also of the pain - that somebody went thru but couldn't cry
and it carries the expression of a certain surprise... the reason for being the chosen one for the accident.


... the rickshaw driver is careless... even after being asked to drive slowly... he has not heard it... 
... this is the last turn before our flat.... I hope he knows there is a pole ahead....
... before I can react.... there is a loud thud.... and a screeching voice of the bending metal.... The impact is so huge... I and dad are thrown out of the rickshaw.... Just before I am thrown out.... I remember the suppressed sounds that are trying to come out of mom, dad and amrita.... a faint cry.... which will haunt me for a long time if not forever...


I am awake.... and find  myself a couple of meters away from the rickshaw... the rick is a mingled badly.... The front tyre is almost a feet above from the ground on the pole. The first thing I see is Amrita's face.... blood pouring from her nose and rolling down her cheeks... She is completely dazed... almost scared of the people who have crowded the rickshaw. I run towards her... and grab her... Her left hand has an unusual twist from the wrist... I know its a fracture..... "Dont worry.... I am here"... are the only words I keep saying for some time.... 


I hear mom's cries from the rickshaw... It's dark and not possible to see her. I put Amrita on the road.... She is scared....and in pain....I repeat myself.... "Dont worry.... nothing will happen.... I am with you"... and rush towards the auto.... mom is bleeding profusely.... I see blood everywhere on her face... its dripping out from every corner I see.... She is yelling..." Ohh... my leg is paining... " like me... she is also under the initial shock.... She keeps repeating her words for the next 2 hours.... in between.... she is telling me ... "I told you dont hire the auto... see I told you".... I see mom trapped behind the rickshaw.... a couple of bystanders come to the rescue.... and we pull mom out....  I still havent seen papa.... He was thrown out on the other side.... He seems to be okay but bleeding on the forehead.... I yell.... "Amrita.... Amrita..." words are not coming out.... I am choked.... papa goes towards Amrita.... 


I remember... there is no good hospital nearby.... i cry for an auto.... "Call an auto immediately..." my hands are wet.... I dont know whether its blood or sweat.... I dont want to check....


I help mom to stand.... she is crying... "make me sit... I am not able to stand".... Papa has come to help mom... and I suddenly hear Amrita's voice... "dont touch me on my hands".... I run towards Amrita....


I ask the people who have gathered around Amrita to give me space.... "Dont worry... nothing will happen.... we are going to hospital"....
my back has started paining.... I pick her with some difficulty in my arms... she seems like a small kid.... I rush towards the auto which has stopped by... Amrita is still in my hands... I see people bringing mom towards us.... she is still yelling unconsciously... Amrita is on the verge of unconsiousness.... I try to keep her awake by talking to her.... Mom is saying something.... I look at her.... I am almost numb.... I can see her skull bone... There are two large cuts on her forehead.... 


We are in the hospital.... I scream "Bring the stretchers... bring them now".... 


The kid has spelled his first word as "Try"....  I see the letters in front of me.... I have two As, one R, one U.... I try to make the word TRAUMA.... but no.....  M is still missing.... 

I look at them... they are still talking ....




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