Trance

The kid who lives on the floor above has come to meet us along with his mom... He has a habit of finding/touching/pushing things which arouse his curiosity. After running his eyes thru every corner of the room, he settles his eyes on Scrabble, a game which was gifted by a friend but never played by me and Amrita.


I help him open the game while his mom is busy talking to my mom and Amrita.... I see an expression on mom and Amrita's face.... which is difficult to describe, but,  can always be seen on the faces that have passed thru a recent trauma... 
This expression is of relaxation - when after a long fight one has pulled out a victory
It's also of the pain - that somebody went thru but couldn't cry
and it carries the expression of a certain surprise... the reason for being the chosen one for the accident.


... the rickshaw driver is careless... even after being asked to drive slowly... he has not heard it... 
... this is the last turn before our flat.... I hope he knows there is a pole ahead....
... before I can react.... there is a loud thud.... and a screeching voice of the bending metal.... The impact is so huge... I and dad are thrown out of the rickshaw.... Just before I am thrown out.... I remember the suppressed sounds that are trying to come out of mom, dad and amrita.... a faint cry.... which will haunt me for a long time if not forever...


I am awake.... and find  myself a couple of meters away from the rickshaw... the rick is a mingled badly.... The front tyre is almost a feet above from the ground on the pole. The first thing I see is Amrita's face.... blood pouring from her nose and rolling down her cheeks... She is completely dazed... almost scared of the people who have crowded the rickshaw. I run towards her... and grab her... Her left hand has an unusual twist from the wrist... I know its a fracture..... "Dont worry.... I am here"... are the only words I keep saying for some time.... 


I hear mom's cries from the rickshaw... It's dark and not possible to see her. I put Amrita on the road.... She is scared....and in pain....I repeat myself.... "Dont worry.... nothing will happen.... I am with you"... and rush towards the auto.... mom is bleeding profusely.... I see blood everywhere on her face... its dripping out from every corner I see.... She is yelling..." Ohh... my leg is paining... " like me... she is also under the initial shock.... She keeps repeating her words for the next 2 hours.... in between.... she is telling me ... "I told you dont hire the auto... see I told you".... I see mom trapped behind the rickshaw.... a couple of bystanders come to the rescue.... and we pull mom out....  I still havent seen papa.... He was thrown out on the other side.... He seems to be okay but bleeding on the forehead.... I yell.... "Amrita.... Amrita..." words are not coming out.... I am choked.... papa goes towards Amrita.... 


I remember... there is no good hospital nearby.... i cry for an auto.... "Call an auto immediately..." my hands are wet.... I dont know whether its blood or sweat.... I dont want to check....


I help mom to stand.... she is crying... "make me sit... I am not able to stand".... Papa has come to help mom... and I suddenly hear Amrita's voice... "dont touch me on my hands".... I run towards Amrita....


I ask the people who have gathered around Amrita to give me space.... "Dont worry... nothing will happen.... we are going to hospital"....
my back has started paining.... I pick her with some difficulty in my arms... she seems like a small kid.... I rush towards the auto which has stopped by... Amrita is still in my hands... I see people bringing mom towards us.... she is still yelling unconsciously... Amrita is on the verge of unconsiousness.... I try to keep her awake by talking to her.... Mom is saying something.... I look at her.... I am almost numb.... I can see her skull bone... There are two large cuts on her forehead.... 


We are in the hospital.... I scream "Bring the stretchers... bring them now".... 


The kid has spelled his first word as "Try"....  I see the letters in front of me.... I have two As, one R, one U.... I try to make the word TRAUMA.... but no.....  M is still missing.... 

I look at them... they are still talking ....




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Recession of thoughts

It's 8:30. The night has fallen in Pune. I zip my denim jacket thinking about the friend who had gifted it to me. I am no longer in touch with him but the jacket keeps reminding of him. The bike waits for me in the parking. There is a new scratch on the Princess. Pretty much visible and she tells me who might have done it. I dont know who has done it. May be the bastard who kept his bike besides me and who would have got dont-know-what-shit bike without even caring about mine? I grudgingly take the princess out of the stable and put my hand on the scar.. It might not heal her... but gives me a chance to feel it. "Ohh... I'll be fine.. don't worry" she tells me... and I give some half-kicks as if to awaken her from her sleep. Finally, the last one starts her up and I am on my way to home. It's only me and the princess now... for an hour of silent talks....
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"Dont do anything after reaching home... Just enjoy your Taarak Mehta" She said... "Hmmm ..." I reply, planning to surprise her with the usual cooking of mine which invariably is some vegetable with a dish of rice, Pulaav mostly. It's a strange situation, I think. We got married 4 months back, and after our honeymoon, we have returned into the same rat-race. Well, Amrita likes to call us the Weekend Couple. For months, I have been working days and nights in the office. The Reason : The recession and my struggle to keep the project going and to increase it. Mostly I succeed, by sacrificing a part of the beautiful life that I have started enjoying thoroughly. and now, It's Amrita's turn to put long hours. I take a left turn towards Moshi village.

Its a small road towards the Moshi village. Stretches for 8kms till Moshi. The good thing is that, its devoid of any vehicle movement. A truck zooms past me giving me some additional accelaration. I change to the 5th gear. The crying sound of the nearby motorcycle which is wrongly into a lower gear, irritates me. It irrriates me, why most of the bikers dont know that you only change gear when you are accelarating. Some years back, a classmate of mine was the pillion when I was driving him in Hyderabad. I was driving at around 80, naturally he was shivering behind me. After some time, I decreased the speed of the bike not changing the gear immediately. He asked me why I am not changing the gears to 4th and then to 3rd every time the speed comes into that zone. I stay silent.

I touch the Moshi village. The next stretch is of 6kms. This is the best stretch in my journey and I usually test the prinecess here the most pushing her till 90 or 100. The 3 lane road for both the sides helps. The FM starts playing Tu Chupi Hai Kahaan from Navrang. I remember the discussions between Bhabha and Papa about the old films. I learned a lot about movies when I joined Nadiad for my MCA. But my training began at home at the age I dont remember now. I, however, distinctly remember, Sadhu Aur Shaitaan being played at Maroo Bhai's place. It reminds me I need to send the Kite Runner movie to dad. I just had a talk with him about the book and like me he was mesmerized by the book. I dont know who will help Bhabha watch some good movies in Junagadh. He has always wanted to see The Bicycle Thief. I think about the last scene of the movie... The boy looking at his father and the father trying to look on the road. They both understand, however, say nothing... How can one scene shot decades still remains the best scene till this day.. I get goose bumps.. they are interrupted by the phone. It's ringing. It's the new lad who has joined the team. I stop the bike..
"How are you"
"I am okay... How are you"
"Kuch Nahi Sir... mujhe puchhna tha Am I doing Okay?"
"Haan Haan tum acha kar rahe ho. Try to learn more... I am happy with your progress"
"Okay." ( I sense his relief)
and then he drops the shell.... "Sir... Le loge na Team me?"
I say nothing for a moment.
"Can I call you later... I am currently on my way home"
The question still hangs in there.... with me and the Princess....

I reach Bhosari. The last phase is of 14kms. From Bhosari to the flat. I dont like this part of the journey.... Heavy Traffic, shabbier road and the Heavy Question which is still unanswered !



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